|
Adoption
and an older child with disabilities:
Madison’s
Story
By Sandra
Beecher
We adopted
our daughter Meagan in 1996 from Yihuang, China. Since then we have kept
in contact with her orphanage. We send regular updates and purchased a
heating/AC unit for them. We also sponsored a school age child through
The Amity/Altrusa Foundation. In 2000 we saw a wish list from the
orphanage that included $363 dollars to pay for surgery for a seven
year-old’s club foot. During this time, we decided to adopt another
child.
We did
not want any more bottles and diapers. We were looking to adopt a child
around the age of 7 or 8. When we saw the child mentioned on Yihuang's
wish list we thought, “Why don't we just adopt her and we can get her
the surgery ourselves?” So, we
 |
|
(from left) Meagan, Morgan and Madison Beecher |
contacted
Journeys.
In 2000 there wasn’t
a waiting child program in China and China frowned upon parents
identifying the child they wished to adopt. We thought we would ask,
anyway, if we could adopt this child, since she needed surgery.
Journeys’ staff agreed to look into this. The orphanage director did
not feel that anyone would adopt this girl and had never sent
information about her to China’s central adoption authority, the CCAA.
It turned out that her medical issues were more complex than just a
"club foot." She could not walk. Her left arm and hand did not function
normally. The orphanage wanted to know if we had ever heard of polio.
Polio! We were taken
aback and had to stop and think. This was much bigger than club foot. We
also did not know if the CCAA would allow us to adopt her if we asked
to.
After much thought
and reflection, both as a couple and individually, we made the decision
to move forward. We asked the orphanage director to send her file to the
CCAA, with Journeys to advocate for us at that level. We got our dossier
together, read what we could about older children adoption and polio,
and waited. About four months later came the answer: the CCAA said, yes,
we could adopt “Madison”.
As for
the effects of polio on Madison- it has affected both of her legs and
hips and her left shoulder, arm and hand. She has one limb that works
normally. In order to walk across the room she has to use long leg
braces and a modified walker. By the time she gets to the other side of
a room, she is exhausted. So, she uses a wheelchair, specially made for
one arm use, as her means of mobility
The reality of
having a family member who uses a wheelchair is that you have to plan
your life carefully. We had to find a one story house with a bathroom
large enough to accommodate her wheel chair. We had to add ramping. We
had to modify the toilet so she could slide over by herself to use it.
We still have to lift her into the shower. Because polio affected one of
her arms and hands, we have to help her with daily living skills. A
special bus comes to pick her up from school each day, with a wheelchair
lift. At school, she has a full-time aide. Then, there is the cost of
polio in dollars. Her wheelchair alone was $3,500. Her first long-leg
braces, called a gait trainer, cost $10,000. Kids grow and things have
to be replaced . She'll be getting her second wheelchair this fall. Her
new leg braces cost $2,000. Her specially made bicycle was $1,200. There
were several major orthopedic surgeries and three months in the
hospital. Insurance pays for most of it, but we end up having plenty to
out of our own pocket.
Polio is there, each
and every day. We make daily accommodations. We've been doing this for
four years; so much of it is now second nature. One thing polio does
not affect is your mind. Madison was blessed with a wonderful mind. She
is smart, creative, and funny.
Although it's been four years since Madison came home, there are still
times that the language barrier causes issues. She struggles, sometimes,
with making herself clear. She hates being corrected, especially by her
sister. Total fluency takes about 7-8 years, so we still have a ways to
go. There is a difference between conversational English and having
mastered English well enough to succeed in school. Madison struggles
with reading comprehension.
We
encourage others to consider adopting older children, as longs as they
understand, as much as is possible, what they are getting into. If they
are looking to rescue a child, they will be disappointed. We're not
waiting for the gratitude.
Now, all that said
and all that we have experienced, would we adopt Madison all over again?
Yes, we would. And, because our experience with her has been so
positive, we are adopting another older child. Our new daughter will be
almost 10 by the time she comes home. I hope that when people read this
they see this as a positive experience because it really is. You just
have to go into it with your eyes open and try to prepare yourself for
the challenges that will come.
When we thought
about adopting again we talked to the children to see what they thought
of it. We were pleasantly surprised to find that they thought another
sibling was a good idea. We got them involved and let them choose her
middle name [from two choices we provided, we aren't totally nuts...].
Now, they're in waiting mode with us.
| Update: Madison Beecher Wins
Gold! Since Madison's
story first appeared, the Beechers have returned from China
twice with their new
daughter, Michelle (11 years old) and Melody (10 years old). Prior
to coming home, Michelle and Melody were best friends in China!
Meanwhile, Madison recently won a gold medal
at the
Special Olympics, June 2006, at Kadena Air Force
Base, Okinawa, Japan. Madison competed in the softball toss and
50 meter wheelchair race. In the 50 meter race she took the
gold!
The Special Olympics in Okinawa is unique, as the
United States military hosts the games - and the competitors are
both local Okinawan children and American children. Volunteers
from both the local and military communities are in attendance.
(Pictured below) Madison
cruising in her city of birth. Shanghai. |
 |
 |
 |
Back To The JOH Home Page
Back To Heartstrings Online
|
Journeys of the Heart is a full service, non-profit adoption agency, certified by the COA, fully Hague Compliant. We provide adoption and relief services from our offices are in Portland (Oregon), Seattle (Washington), and Chicagoland (Illinois). We can work with people from any state in the United States. If you are looking for an adoption agency then please look into our philosophy and our dedication. If domestic adoption, international adoption, or open adoption is in your future then let your journey begin here. Journeys of the Heart Adoption Services is a non-profit organization, described as a 501 (c) (3) organization, by the Internal Revenue Service, EIN 94-3184018. If you wish to make a donation to Journeys and require a copy of our letter of determination from the IRS please email website@journeysoftheheart.net |
|
